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Ferris Wheel

by Nellie Veitenheimer

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about

I wrote this song at the beginning of 2014. I was never satisfied with how the mix came out, because I did everything myself, but also never got around to fixing it. It's the cycle of my ~artistry~

It's a frustrating one that I'm trying to stop. Ironically, considering the song's content and message. I need to learn to be content with wherever I'm at in my circle, in my journey, in my music and art. I need to remember that perfection is not success, and that I've never done music to succeed, anyway. I'm sorry for keeping so many things from the people that are still somehow following me, after 5 years of reaching what I'm always worried was the peak of my success.

This is for you as much as it is for me.

It is imperfect. The guitar is buzzy and I'd wished I'd had an interface instead of miking it. It was the first song I'd produced of my own. It was done quickly to make an appearance in a friends short film, and while it started as something I was proud of, it devolved in my head to a piece of work that didn't represent me anymore, and was really just a reminder of how far I needed to go to reach where I wanted to be.

I'm trying to get over myself. Get over the pretentiousness/challenge/impossibility of wanting to create something that represents me at all times in all ways and instead just share my art with people who are eager to listen. It baffles me that those people are out there, and I don't give you enough for the fact that you are.

I care a lot about what people think, but the fact is, this song is still special to me. It still holds a very valuable message for me. I hope you find something in it that speaks to you, and I thank you for continuing to support my imperfections--both in art and industry.

lyrics

LYRICS

my right foot is bigger than my left
maybe that’s the reason for all of these missteps
maybe it’s the reason that i fall
maybe there’s no reason at all

*
ferris wheel
do not stop
bring me all the way
to the top
show me the world before you bring me down
back down down down down to the ground
*

questions float inside this head
what if it were me that were floating instead
what is it connected to my toes
that forces me to have to know to know to know i do not know

anything at all to bring us up to tell the tale
convince ourselves that we know all and leave an obvious trail
for who for what are we here for
and why do we think we need more need more need more

questions questions float inside this head
will i have the answers before i am dead
i’ve imagined it how it ends 30 thousand ways
but what if what i really want is just to stay
around
stay above the ground
keep going round and round

credits

released November 14, 2017

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about

Nellie Veitenheimer Los Angeles, California

Music for romantic nihilists.

Performing under new project, Nel, debuting with single "Finish." It's a cryptic march that signals new beginnings, representative of her life and art.

More coming soon.
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